Why Did I Waste Time Thinking Paul Walker Isn’t Dead?

by Michelle on December 10, 2013

in Contemporary Issues,Facing Resistance

I have a new interpretation to my response on Paul Walker’s death.

The week before he died, I actually started doing something pretty major in my life… something I hadn’t really done for 3 years: DATING!! Just last month, I had joined a high-end dating service (where Patti Stanger formerly worked!). I started getting invitations right away from high-quality candidates, but sat on it and did nothing for weeks… until the week of 11/25. That week, I finally took action and went on two dates with two different guys. Woohoo.

Then boom, 11/30 happened and the beautiful, prolific, famous 40-year-old Paul Walker suddenly died. (I didn’t hear about it until the next day.)

What better way to distract myself from DATING than with his sudden, strange death?… a juicy mystery for my cat-like mind to play with and unravel and get sucked into for hours and days, a la conspiracy theories.

This always happens. The moment you start to initiate any big, worthwhile change in life, OBSTACLES and/or DISTRACTIONS show up to try to stop you! Your mind creates them. That’s just how it is. Count on it.

Case in point: days after Paul died, I got depressed thinking about his death, ate a shit ton of candy in one sitting, got sick with a nasty flu… meanwhile, I got lured back into a stupid internet forum I used to post at that’s filled with toxic/idiotic people, so I could talk about Paul’s death…

boom, next thing you know I’m out of commission. Can’t work, can’t date, can’t do shit… fatigued, miserable, and literally ill. Spending precious hours arguing with people who don’t care either way.

I only realized a few minutes ago what was truly going on last week.

MY MIND… ONCE AGAIN… ATTEMPTED TO STOP ME… FROM CHANGING.

Just wow.

As usual, I see that those obstacles are surefire evidence that I was DEFINITELY on the right track prior to Paul dying. ;) All I need to do now is heal up 100% (I’m at about 81% now) and then pick up where I left off. AKA keep going.

Now that I see my own resistance in tangible form, I’m not gonna let it stop me from moving forward.

Not gonna let remnants of the flu, or Paul Walker, or the ill-spirited forum derail me. Back on track now!

Moral: Be very, very watchful of how your mind creates distractions to try to stop you from moving forward toward a goal or dream.

{ 1 comment }

darkrage6 December 11, 2013 at 2:40 am

Paul’s death certainly shocked me, though it didn’t quite depress me to that level. My mind did use it as an excuse for me to put off doing my paper for college, I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic before, and Paul’s death made me care even less, but somehow I managed to finish it and at least tried to put some effort into it.

Anyways i’m still suspicious over the circumstances surrounding his death.

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